The Bachelor: Week 3

I am no expert on The Bachelor – as evident by my hilariously poor performance in my own pool – but Arie is quickly becoming one of the most promiscuous Bachelors in the show’s hilarious and smutty history. His extended and handsy make-out sessions with literally every contestant remaining is going to make for a number of awkward exits. But I’m not here to look forward; I’m here to look back. This week’s highlights:

Annaliese’s latest trauma. It’s not unusual for a contestant to start chasing a relationship or trying to make up for lost time while other girls are far ahead. Very few narrated it quite like Annaliese did.

I can only hope she recovers from her latest trauma — watching this sorrid performance on national television.

Self-analysis. The Bachelor paradoxically asks people to reflect on who they are while simultaneously broadcasting how oblivious they are about how they come across. Chelsea stating “I adore the person I’ve become,” was my favourite Bachelor line since a previous contestant proclaimed beach volleyball in California was “literally my worse nightmare.”

We have to talk about Bekah. Bekah, the youthful troublemaker, has achieved what so few contestants on the show have – she’s put the Bachelor on the defensive even while he has dozens of women vying for his attention. While everyone else is playing checkers, she’s playing chess.

Lauren S.’s quick exit. Lauren S. left without a rose on a 1 on 1 date, which for Bachelor historians like myself is the rarest of blunders (on the topic of blunders, she was my pick to win). Any time the Bachelor actually starts eating the meal in front of him, you know things are going poorly. I felt kind of bad for her as she appeared nervous for her first (and last) television performance. Who wouldn’t be?

Fred Willard. He’s showing his age. And the dog show date won’t go down as one of The Bachelor’s better productions.

Age – it’s just a number… That works against you. With Arie’s repeated statements that he is “ready to settle down,” I assumed he would gravitate towards a slightly older contestant, perhaps with her life in order and ready to do the same. With only six women 30 or older, I considered this and picked accordingly.

Five of the six 30-somethings are gone. Whoops!

We have a four-way tie for the lead.

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